Saturday, 25 June 2011

Thought for the Day. Week 3, lil early, as I'm off, now, for the weekend-coming...wait for meeeeee

As I am off for a BBQ weekend away with the family, to see (surrogate) family and friends, I am today, putting up my 'thought for the day' as I will not get the chance this weekend. It is due to be 33 degrees, we are staying overnight at a friends' house, where they have a pool, goats, pygmy sheep, a polar bear named Cher, and the Pistache HQ where the boys run their ship...check them out.


Monty sporting an XWing design hoody by the boys...

The beauty is, staying at friends means, when the kids go to sleep and the baby phone's on, the grown ups  get to party!! Bring it on!

So I am here with leaving you with my 'Thought for the day', and wishing you as good a weekend as I am about to have!!



"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."
-Socrates

Friday, 24 June 2011

Mummy power zero, toddler power 1...

The night time wanderer is at loose. She is in her Big girl bed! Finally! I took the plunge. Well, for the last few months she has been getting herself in and out of her cot, so it was a sign. I have dragged my feet letting Esmie into the Big girl bed world, for the reason now staring me in the face, asking me for a ‘dwink’ and batting her big blue eyes. Cute, but ‘GET BACK INTO BED!!!!!!!’ She is gone, but I am more than sure that within seconds, she will be out again…Wish me luck! This tries me, officially, she’s testing me,  and I am gonna lose (it). Right, Esmie is out again, what do I do? Come on folks, help me put here. This is a real live nightmare.


At Lola's birthday party, last Saturday...

She finally gave up at 9.30. I have a cat sleeping on my knees, and arms, making typing nigh-on impossible. But there could be worse things sitting on my lap, right? I spent Wednesday, at rainy day activity action stations, ALL day. We got out for about 15 minutes, but the kids stood in the rain, on the forecourt raindrops dropping off their eyelashes, going ‘can we go in yet mummy?’ So I hastily gave up. Human rights I suppose, and all that…

Esmie has been paddying on and off ALL DAY LONG. Because, get this, she ‘hates’ jeans. She only ever wants to wear leggings, and as her fave pair were on the line drying (still no washing machine, laundrette becoming both impractical and extortionate). She puts all kinds of objects together to climb up and rag them off the line. The whole day is her spent cussing me for the fact I am in charge, and she is the loser today…! At the end of the day, the kids are eating every last bit of fruit I bought at the shops today, it’s too good the fresh fruit at the mo, and esmie, I watch, deliberately squish a strawberry into her onerous jeans. She swiftly looks up, declares there’s been an accident, they are wet and dirty, and cannot be warn anymore. She runs off to get ‘new chowsers’ and comes back in all made up with herself, sporting the forbidden leggings. Mummy power zero, toddler power 1...




Anyway, that aside, I have been dreading for a while doing what I am about to tell you I did. You’ll see why-bear with me (as always)…The teacher that has had both Monty, and now Lola, I think is brilliant. It’s been tough for the kids to begin with going to school, not speaking the language, and having to spend a day trying to understand, and be understood. It has been heartache every time I left them at school for the morning. They are so adaptable though, kids, and they learn SO much faster than we do. They have easily picked up the language, and the teachers have been fabulous helping them in this. After school, I took a deep breath, I wanted to ask Lola’s teacher if he would consider having Mitzi  next year. I cover my ears and eyes and run away into the kiddie toilets. He comes in and finds me with a big grin on his face…actually, I am changing the direction of this, that just sounded WRONG. I didn’t run away, I looked at him and mumbled my question, then when he didn’t hear me, told him it didn’t matter, ‘no, Madame Wood, go on’. So I did go on, I tend to have verbal diarrhoea at the best of times, and if you catch me on an answering machine ... bloody hell (often cut off middle of message, and am forced to ring back to finish it), he looked at me with a big smile (that’s better, and it’s the truth) told me he’d be delighted, he loved both Monty and Lola and was privileged to be asked, flattered. OMG! Didn’t expect that. I check for signs of drug addiction-all clear. The only thing is, Mitzi-moo is not exactly the same temperament as the big two, Little does he know...mwahahahahahahah. Well, she is super adorable actually, and has reformed of late, being good as gold (the whole ‘yes mum’, right away, mum', from previous blog) it's just, she’s just a bit more, well, climby? Active? Wild? ;) It'll be reet…Sozza Maitre.
Mitzi moo-moo, dancing it UP at the school spectacle (in brown)

I have just received my first ever massage from a kid-Lola. Ace! I then, however, get Mitzi coming up behind me, informing me she is about to give me a ‘masscharge’ for a minute, I am a little bit scared, I have no idea what to expect!! Wasn’t too bad as it turns out-well, at least she didn’t accidentally pull a chunk of hair out as Esmie did when it was her turn to do it to me.

I am off, busy day tomorrow, plus I am looking after my friend's 18 month-old all day too, she's got to do something, in a foreign country, never to come home again, oh dear. And her baby's having separation difficulties from mum at the mo, screaming like a (Monty just came down, and I asked him 'screaming like a ...what?' to which he replied 'err, a lion?' so here's me giving my son credit, but not understanding in the least, his logic) lion. And then this weekend, a trip up to friends’ for our first sheep BBQ. Thanks bus driver!


See ya, Tamsyn x

Thursday, 23 June 2011

They found something...

Woooaaaa, wassat????
Check out the gargantuan moth...
Fly! Be free!! Oh, you can't you're D.E.A.D...Can I chop it up then Mum??

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

The EZterminator...


At 11.30 last night, the chocolate withdrawal symptoms kicked in big time. We were watching a film in bed, and decided it would be a great idea to make chocolate cornflake cakes. Which we did. I had made loads of chocolate cakes the other day, I was on a roll, so I baked some extras for the freezer. We chopped a load of that up and chucked cornflakes into melted chocolate and butter. Half an hour in the freezer, and tasted divine!!! So this morning at 6am, when I got up, after just going to bed 4 hours earlier, I was baggy eyed and pathetic…the kids want to get in the swimming pool before breakfast and going to school, but I held my ground, by looking at them and going ‘er, AS IF?!’ And we got on like good kids with our porridge. 

At my fave beach the other day-there's a park, and it sells coffee to parents-DREAM world!!

I took Ezza to the beach Monday afternoon, and made sand castles and wandered along picking up stones and shells, and a bit of dog poo, which was neurotically scraped off by a stick, and then hands strerilised in the sea. All within seconds of contact. It was lovely, and so relaxing, considering the weekend’s antics. Back home to reality with a thud-my effing tax forms I have not yet done, due in on the 31st May. OK, deadline been and gone, no more excuses. I sit down to apply myself. But how can you ever, ever be applied when you have a toddler demanding spiders, butterflies, tractors, squares and circles and stars to be drawn after every ‘multiple guess’ questions on my tax forms (which there are about 68 pages of…)? Who can be applied when ‘twinkle ‘twinkle little star is to sung often and slowly as I am told to ‘hang on’ as she catches up? Who can be applied when a toddler is running up to you, pinching you, then running off cackling with their hands over their mouth? And when all else fails, as she does not have my complete and utter, ‘you are the centre of my world, I shall stare only at you all day long’ undivided attention, she starts going ’pile of s***’-an expression picked up from someone, I am not mentioning. ALEX! OK, toddler swearing, need to do tax forms, alright, she wins. I toss the millions of papers and ‘how to fill your million page tax forms out’ instructions, they were in fact a pile of s***, to the side, and take the EZterminator to the park.

Get that kid to the park!!

After school, I realise I had forgotten to make bread that morning (oh noooo, we’re all gonna starve…) so have to swing by the Boulangerie to grab a few brown baguettes. I have been trying to get the kids doing a few ‘grown up things’ by themselves. I figure it’s good for them, and I don’t want them to feel smothered, although I never want them out of my sight either (tricky one!!) but you can obviously never be too careful these days. So I parked outside, and let Lola and Monty run in. They walk up hand in hand, Lola with a big grin on her face as she is very proud to be going into a shop with her brother for the fist time on their own. And then all of a sudden, Lola is back at the car sobbing her little heart out. Fooking fantastic, the first time I do this, and something’s gone wrong. It turns out that she got scared, and didn’t want to go in in the end! Bless her. And Monty came out with the wrong bread coz he couldn’t remember what I’d said! But there you go, bread happens…

Alex is sneezing like the pepper fairy, and I hope so very much, this does not mean there is a new bug going round. We’re 2 and a bit weeks from the end of term *rents GIANT cage with Gianter padlock for holidays, realises noone as yet does this, has found niche in market, will get rich!* and leading up to this, I need all the strength in the world. Although today, I did manage to do my tax forms-you know how?? I went in all ‘damsel in distress’ style: ‘I’m English, I'm tired, I am normally a strong woman, but I am here, before you now, a broken one, and I’m not being funny but what the f*** is all this b**ll**s?? Can you pleeeeease help me monsieur?’ And he did! He did it all for me!! Get in! And so now, my tax is complete, and I am no longer chastised by all the rest of the French whom I tell I have not yet done it, who regard me with looks of horror, concern and sometimes disgust. One man told me I would go to prison. For fook’s sake (some of) the French nation- get over yourselves!!
Now, the ducks are in, they are asleep next to a mirror, they think there’s other ducks there, stoooopidos. And then Monty, taking the change of seasons quite literally, today is the first day of Summer, and so he is wearing pyjama shorts to bed he shows me. And lets me know he will be doing this until the first day of Autumn…Goodness, what a house I live in!!

See you soon, Tamsyn x

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

flashsunday, quick pic....



Couldn't find a photo of Alex and all the kids the other day, so this was taken on Father's day...Doesn't he look pretty in his necklace?? And I am digging my son's style-army welly boots and swimming shorts, gonna be wearing the same myself next time I have a big night out...!

Monday, 20 June 2011

They attempted to hoover it out, pincer it out and slosh it out.

Not one of the brightest, or most successful of ideas I have had to date. I am talking about inviting 2 of Lola’s friends for a sleep over the night before her birthday…they are still up, it’s 10 to 10, and I am knackered, big fat knackered. GO TO SLEEEEPPPP!!!!!! There’s nothing but a baked potato for Alex and me for tea, as I was not even able to cook, it was all I could do to find time to hoy a potato in the oven.  So a baked potato it is. It’s ended up in tears…and it still goes on, they’re all in front of me now, unable to pronounce my name, I am now known as Tamzoom. Well, it’s better than s*** face, so I am not complaining. We are off inforce now upstairs. Alex has just arrived home, and as his absence has BEEN noted, I’ll tell you his excuse in a moment…Right, I am back, Alex’s ‘firm’ voice did the trick! Well, for a bit…I wish I had a man’s voice-so much more authoratitive, not like mine, I sound like a dwarf who has respondedly remarkably badly to steroid treatments when I try and do ‘man stern voice’. OK, Alex’s excuse, he tells me, as I fly out the door again, late, at 4 this afternoon, ‘oh, I am going out now honey, I won’t be back till late. Good luck with the sleep over…!’ And with that, he is gone, in a whirlwind. He has in fact, saved all his chores up for the end of the day. He also informed me earlier there were ‘important things I can’t get out of tomorrow’, they would be starting at 6 am too…yeah yeah, see ya!!



Lola and her 2 best friends, they've been best mates since they were 3...Now they're all 6, that's half their lifetime they've been best buds!! Well cute...



So I was all alone to fend off the masses of kids *note to self, never, ever have 6 kids. 5 is fine, but 6 moves into the realms of child takeover, well, 1 does to be fair, but that’s just my experience! Oh no, I have not yet put the chickens and ducks to bed *boos self*. Because now it means I have the evening Olympics ahead of me, flying around the garden, sprinting like a maniac herding the poultry to bed. Sporadically failing a rugby tackle hither and thither, sending ostriches and cute ducks flapping violently off going ‘ner ner ner ner ner’ and blowing raspberries…Everyone takes the p*ss out of me in this house.





Monty is very old fashioned bless him, earlier this evening, he requested one of Lola’s friends if she  would 'mind not swearing’, it ‘offends’ him, apparently! He was in tears at one point too, as there were so many scary girls, all trying to kiss him…It's late now, and Alex has just nearly passed out blowing out balloons, getting ready for Lola’s birthday tomorrow (Saturday). Me, well I was there, wrapping like a trooper, wrapping presents till I passed out, we started at 11.30 pm…



Lola with Daddy, on her new birthday bike...



On Saturday evening, finally, at 6.30pm, I pull in to my drive. I had partied all morning from 5am, yes, that was getting up time after the 11 o’clock finally everyone’s asleep (ish) I was so relieved to be back too.  Party time all morning, making things, drawing, painting, hair, nails, dressing up, babies. All girly girly things, indoor activities, it weed it down. Thank you God. *waggles fist angrily at sky*. I cook dinner, turn round to a crying Esmie, who takes my hand and informs me she has just shoved a tree bud thing up her snoz. Superb. So now, we are off to A and E, at 7 pm on a Saturday night, and a sneezy toddler. The doctor had walked in, finally, and I stood up, to realise I had stepped into GIANT world. I was the giant, for the first time nearly ever in my life I was Giant. She was hands down, the smallest woman in the whole wide world. But to give her her due, she got it out!! It was extracted…. 2 ½ hrs later, we’re clear. They attempted to hoover it out, pincer it out and slosh it out. To no avail, and a by then we had a hysterical toddler, they informed me they need to call the resident ENT specialist. She’d give it one more go. Thank god , she succeeded! Whey hey! We can go home. 10 o’clock. Not too bad…Hmmmmmm.



This was the offending article. Well done Ez.



I give up. I have literally spent the last half hour trying to get Mickey and Minnie (wish the kids had liked posh and Beaks, such cooler names…) to bed (the ducks, for those who are not up to date). I am bright red, puffing, probably sweating, although I am too wet to notice as I had to wade through their little pond to try and get at them, to fall into a bush of stinging nettles, which OMG that f*****g stings, FYI, to end up prodding them with a large stick through the bush to get them back into the garden and in the direction of the garage. I thought I could out run them, but they have cottoned on to the fact that there is safety beneath the caravan. Millions of weapons of mass chicken and duck and cat evacuations lie strewn across the ground. Too small to fit anything but a small child, but this is adult world. Hard core out-running, rugby tackling falling in steams and nettle bushes to get at poultry and the like unadulterated adult world. 



Dad giving 'now, stay in sight, do not run off where we can't see you' instructions to the troops...



So, Sunday night, and we had a gorgeous calm, hot, swimming pool in the garden, watering the veg, going for bike rides and a dog walk day. Eveyone’s sparko, and I am going to have myself a well earned bath. Night all! See you tomorrow,





Tamsyn x

Sunday, 19 June 2011

Happy Father's day Alex!

We love him so so much, because we just do.....
(yep, he got hairy for a bit.....)

Because he's very funny...


Because he says 'pull my finger' and he pumps so loud and it makes us laugh...
  
Because he gives lovely cuddles and kisses...

Because he is so nice...


Because he plays with us

Because he is kind

Because he looks after us ...


Because he is THE BEST DAD EVER!!!

I love you honey, you're the best most loving, caring, affectionate, funny lovely Dad...The kids are very lucky to have you....As am I xxxxxx