Saturday, 13 August 2011

10 Things I learned From This Week...in ten...

Well, it’s been an eventful one this week…ALL  kinds happening, but to keep it brief, here are my ’10 Things I Have Learned From This Week’


1 More than 10 people a year are killed by vending machines, pretty odd, but true.

2 That we have a cockroach infestation-OMG, *FREAKS out just writing this sentence*

3 That the phrase ‘pecking order’ came from observing poultry and their behaviours-they ‘peck’ off the smaller and weaker, thus we deduced this must be where the phrase had come from (clever us).

4 You WILL make a complete t*t out of yourself if your bike seat is set too high. Ouch *nurses scabby knee*

5 All kids LOVE Mary Poppins, chimchiminy, chim chiminy chim chim cheroooooooooooooooooooooo.

6 That from time to time, you need to ‘like’ yourself, have faith in you, and who you are as a person.

7 You should never ask your husband to read out the subtitles you cannot read with out your glasses, a man shouting ‘STAR WARS!’ at the top of his voice is enough to wake the dead, and give me a premature coronary…

8 You need to practice at having patience, and exercise it with everyone.

9 Family is THE most important.

10 I feel sorry for those who are doing it I really do-how did they get to that point in their life that thought their actions were actually justified? How have we managed to raise a generation who have succeeded in creating the devastation and sorrow in England?


There we have it, my week in 10. Have a good Saturday, we are camping in the garden tonight, just to ‘change it up’ a bit!

Tamsyn x

Friday, 12 August 2011

So if a social worker meets my son, I shall bribe him to keep schtum about the 'Daddy dancing around, gaily flapping towels' incident...


‘Mum?’
‘Yep, here and present’

“Don’t people work hard in China, hey?’

‘Erm, yes, baby I guess they do, what makes you say that?’

‘Well, EVERYTHING is made in China’ Monty states matter of factly this morning. After reading labels in things, he has come to this conclusion…!

As for the rest of us, I had a night out last night! I went for a drink with a couple of girl friends for a few hours. An outdoor bar over looking the sea…I diet-coked it up, as I was driving, and it was lovely. Whilst I was out, Daddy is on night duties. Everyone is asleep, when I return, it is all quiet, Alex has even dozed off on the sofa. I make a cup of tea and grab some of the home made peanut butter cookies Grandma made with the kids just before she left. The peace is over, Monty descends, he has been bitten to **** by a Nazi-mozzy. He is covered on one arm and hand and wrist, and ITCHY! Alex rears his head, 'what’s up mate?', he asks Monty, 'well, you know that mozzy I told you about that kept waking me up and biting me and I couldn’t sleep because of it but you told me to stop thinking up more excuses and to be quiet and go to sleep?’ Alex did know, he was now feeling proper guilty, so he is prepares for action stations…he takes Monty up to bed formulating a plan, they see sight nor sound of the b*st*rd mozzy, so Alex comes back down.


Explaning to me that he felt proper guilty, Alex tells me why.  He had got so fed up with the ‘last thisses’ 'last thatses’ from the small child brigade, that he finally put ‘firm’ voice on and Monty at that point took the brunt of it. We hear another mozzy alert shout from Monty’s room. Alex sprints up to his room, this is apparently (his words), ‘the only way I can make it up to him is by killing this mozzy, I have to go…’ and with that, he pelts up the stairs, me thinking the house is about to cave in under his Forest Gump efforts. He enters the room, and I hear an a giant fall down, humungous crash, something big crack,  an ‘OWARRRRRGHH’, in fact a few of these, with the odd ‘FOR F***S SAKES’ added in for good measure. I, quite obviously, am wondering what the hell is going on.

‘GOT IT! YES!’ Woops let rip from Monty’s room, and Alex comes back down triumphant. I half expect him to be doing the Victory march, and blowing a horn… So I question him as to wtf went on up there, it transpires he had been so determined to get the mozzy, that he ran up the stairs, tripped on entry (the giant fall down, and humungous crash), he picks himself back up, whips off his towel  (the  big crack-oops, the 'noise' I hastily add!), as he whacks gaily away with his towel at Monty's bed. He’d had a bath before dozing off for a bit on the sofa, hence the dress, and flings it violently in mozzy direction. The towel flaps around hard, Alex whacking all kinds, he clobbers his head on the door (the ‘OWARRRRRGHH’), falls again in the over exertion (the FFS), to finally getting the moz. Result! Of course, this whole time he’d been wildly leaping around the room, completely starker’s (his towel being the weapon). Monty had just sat through 5 minutes of daddy leaping naked around his bedroom at midnight…So if a social worker meets my son, I shall bribe him to keep schtum about the 'Daddy dancing around, gaily flapping towels' incident...

Daddy getting picked on, well 'clinging on with sheer delight eye-pokey' by a toddler. Still, at least he's fully clothed ;)

The things that go on in this house.

We all got to the beach today, it was a lovely sunny afternoon and as we get to the beach, the clouds come over. Still, the kids dove about in shore breaking waves, Esmie even joined in the antics today, normally she is in my arms crying gas I approach the sea, as if she’s sure if I am about to give her her first swimming lesson-in the Ocean…So today was real progress. We picnic tead it (sandy tuna sandwhiches, lovely!!), kids were shattered when we get home, and it’s straight to bed-all is quiet at 8pm! Apart from the animals who I now have to see to…

Anyway, I am determined to get my kids on a bike ride, despite my events getting back on the bike at the request of my son to ‘race’ him. It’s pretty big, the bike, I mount it successfully enough, set off, and realise the seat is WAY to high down there. I cannot quite reach the pedals, wobble dramatically and  yes, go a*se over t*t. Well, I didn’t win the race, I got a scabby knee though!! But I will try again, I SHALL get back on the bike.


Me, in back in 2000, Ok, big fat lie, but I reckon I am about 5? here, I am doing my basketed bike well though!

I just need to point out my enviable fashion sense (just you wait, you’ll all be dressed like it soon) in velour tracksuit and red Dorothy shoes and white socks, trousers tucked into them of course, you wouldn’t want your chain to get stuck on the trouser flaps…


See you all tomorrow,


Tamsyn x

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

The 'flap' look is never gonna be a good look...

There is something wrong with my kids, VERY wrong, like mentally, in the head-they asked me to ‘turn up’ James Blunt. Now if you read my blog, James Blunt, as I am sure you do, I apologise, in all honesty, I quite liked ‘you’re boooootiful, tis true’ but WTF is all the rest of the crap you have been churning out ever since? As usual, the French are BIG fans, anything musically pants is welcome here, thus Jamie B is BIG over here. At any rate, the kids need channelling down other music routes, and QUICK.


Oh, so this is what you looked like back in 1973....



There is also, something dire wrong with me, having a sort through of some old stuff tucked away in bags within boxes within boxes within bags, I came across a Mariah Carey tape. Did I actually just say that out loud? Oh, yes I did, bad scene, no retracting now. I have no recollection of buying it to be fair, so can I be let off? Phew! Thanks…*bursts secretly into Mariah Carey style singing as been practising her singing voice for years*


OOOOOO you're so pretty Mariah...you have even tamed butterflies...

So, what news?? Well, Monty Buster had his first ever hair cut today, I must add, ‘at the hairdressers’ , he has not been wandering around a male version of Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair…He loved it, and he looks a thousand times better. I however, nearly had a b*tch fight with the stupid wench that cut his hair. She wanted to set the ‘Tondeuse’ (the word for a lawnmower, in French, but in fact it is also the same  for clippers) Monty was somewhat worried at the thought of her lawn mowing his head…Anyway, the nasty woman wanted to hack it all off. I however, preferred her going for a shorter version of what he had already. So did he, I wasn’t being an overbearing mother, I just know what my kids want, they do not need to give their opinion… He is fussed over like a poodle in a poodle parlour, washed, hair cut, and blow dried. In the interim, after the ‘so what shall we do with his hair today, then?’ the silly cow and I have a Mexican stand off through the hair dressing mirror. She was determined to use the clippers, but backed down, she gets busy snipping, I give a little ‘not tooooo short’ squeak like someone squeezing a weasel-a reflex action. She hacks away threateningly, glancing over. After, she sighs heavily, looks at me, ‘will THAT do Madame?’ (Madame? cheeky bitch, she’s not that much younger than me…or maybe I’m in intense denial, very possible…) and actually, as it happens, no it will not do. She made a right bat’s arse of it, not that I have ever intensely studied bats’ arses, but she has done just that. All weird and long at the back, and a bit ‘mullety’. I ask her to take a bit more off, to stop the ‘flap look’, the flap look is never gonna be a good look…not on anyone, let alone a small male child. She rolls her eyes, actually rolls her eyes, ‘Well, I’ve done the cut now.’ To which I reply, ‘well, to be fair, you have still got the scissors in your hand, so if you would…’ she huffs (WTF kind of hairdressing world is this?) snips unevenly and goes, ‘There, will that do?’. I give in, that’s gonna have to do, after all, she is at an advantage, she has sharp scissors in her hand and my boy in front of her. ‘Fine’ I say, although at this point I can not even look her in the eye, I am seething. We pay, and scarper. I am sure she snips after me with her scissors.


Don't care what face you pull, you're still getting the chop..



My parents-in-law are off tomorrow. My father-in-law is stiff as a board, he’s made us a super DELUXE chicken house! All out of reclaimed wood too. I am hugely impressed. As are the chickens, 48 hours he has been slaving away at it! The roof goes on tomorrow! My M-in-law too is ruined, she’s been on cooking duties for us all too! So they’re off tomorrow! I have my meeting tomorrow with me new boss (after re-read, I did mean to write ‘my’ but I quite like the Dick Van Dyke cockney accent thing going on there), to finalise start dates, and the like! I am really looking forward to it.





So, on that note, I shall leave you all.





See you all tomorrow, 

Tamsyn x *sets off to hunt down hairdresser*

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

A blog 'About Me'...Up Close And Personal...


About me:

So, here it is (nervous dun dun dubn…)  my first ‘personal blog’. Well, for the last 2 years my health has been becoming more and more of an issue that I could not avoid any longer. As a result, I have decided to eat fish. My explanation goes as follows:

Apart from the outward signs of my health depleting:
- Pale
- No energy
- Nails never growing, breaking so far down the nail bed it hurts
- Deep cracks in sides of nail and finger tips which sometimes get infected, inflamed, and sore
- Scarecrow hair (relevance, no natural oil to keep it healthy)
- Unable to put on weight, bit of a gaunt look going on without make up!
- Four root canal surgeries and 4 rotten teeth crowned in less than 3 months…
- Palpitations and adrenalin charging through my body as if I am every day about to sit a Degree…
- Insomnia

I have decided, initially for the sake of my kids, then thinking I needed to cut myself a bit of slack, for me, for my sake, too. I could go on no longer avoiding the signs-I was feeling so ill and exhausted, my memory and nerves shot to oblivion, two stomach ulcers and plunging to not quite 39 kilos (5 stone 10 lbs) several times has not helped either.
I needed my brain to function,
I need energy for my kids, for me, for my life and all its adventure
I need to sleep,
I need to chill out and take responsibility, shirk my ‘principles’ for a bit, and start eating fish.

I became a vegetarian nearly 8-years-ago, through mostly spiritual beliefs, and believing in karma. Also, personally when eating vegetarian, my body feels ‘clean’, guilt free…Thus from that day, through 4 out of the 5 pregnancies I have had, I ate a strict vegetarian diet. Twice eating a bit of meat given to me as a present (the bus driver with the chickens and the sheep?!) As I believe, for me, it’s ruder to refuse a gift, a meal, when that person has shown kindness, than to ‘not eat meat’.

I have been craving fish at insane levels for 6 months or so. Back around the time I suffered a peptic stomach ulcer.

I never had a healthy relationship with food when I was younger (maybe a blog one day, but no point going into it here), leading up to my first pregnancy, when everything changed. I had to eat for my baby. I was to be a mum.

5 pregnancies, 4 kids later, I have definitely put my body through some and back again…I have eaten well, though looking back, in the first 3 or 4 years, of little kids/breastfeeding etc, I mostly just remembered by about 3 pm I should eat something…the last 2 years I have been far more diligent about taking care of my health, eating well, exercising, but when roughly 8 months ago I started borking violently at meal times with the kids, I wondered what was up.

I ate my first ‘fish’ meal, Friday passed, and the relief I felt immediately, was overwhelming. Since, the violent borking has vanished, already my nails are growing, Alex commented how much colour I had in my face (no make up!) and I have not got that ‘wrought’ no energy, skeletal feel inside. I feel stronger already, it’s only been a week.

The borking was awful, imagine, sitting down to a meal with the kids, then spending your whole time trying not to puke up the ‘lovely vegetarian meal’ you’d cooked yourself. I was so worried the kids would be affected. I think in hindsight, my body subconsciously had been trying to tell me for a long time I needed something else in my diet. As I say, since eating fish, I look forward to eating, I do not fear bringing it back up on my plate at the dinner table!

Do not get me wrong, fundamentally, I fully believe a well balanced vegan/vegetarian diet can be extremely beneficial, and possible to be completely balanced and healthy.

In my individual case, after putting my body through what I did for nigh on 12 years, then all the pregnancies in as many years, breast feeding, being ‘busy’, my body had had enough.

I am now nourishing my body, already reaping the benefits. I did give it my best, I flogged it right till the bitter end, I really did, and part of me, a big part, is devastated that I am eating an animal. I am sad. But at the same time, a part of me is really, really excited to be exploring a life feeling healthy, not jumpy, scatty brained, sore finger tips, nearly puking at the dinner table. I am relieved I have made myself do it. It’s been 2 years in the decision process, everyone around me telling me to eat at least fish…One thing that really got me was what my mum said when she was over. She looked at my nails and said, ‘You know what Tamsyn? If that is what your nails look like on the outside, imagine what your bones are going through on the inside…’ The kids, I thought, I have to do this for them. I had disregard the external signs as ‘well if that’s all I have to deal with as a result, then so be it’…But my inside? Even Gwyneth Paltrow who has been a strict vegan for x amount of years, after a bone analysis revealing she had the bone density of an 80–year-old woman, has reassessed her principles, and added chicken and fish to her diet. So I am not alone!

So there you go, a little bit about me, and the things that go on in the background of my blog life...

Go easy on your judgements!! It's been an impossible decision, but I have to take responsibility.
Thanks for reading,

See you, Tamsyn x

Monday, 8 August 2011

So why, Esmie Rose, do you not stay the F**K in bed?...


I am necking back a hefty chunk of quiche, my mother-in-law’s down and she has a quiche fetish. Well, that’s not quite true, she hasn’t a quiche fetish, but it’s a handy thing to cook for a veggie (which reminds me, I have a very serious blog to put up tomorrow, I, as you all know, like the ‘lighthearted approach to my blog/life, and am concerned about putting it up (the judgements!) but as my blog is also a way of documenting my life, a diary, so I thought fook it, I am ‘putting myself out there’ and so tomorrow, dun dun dun, I am doing an ‘About me’ one…) Anyhoo, that is all by the by, I was on necking down veggie quiches. My in-laws have a mobile home roughly 5 hours from us, they spend 6 months a year in france, 6 in England,  each time they come down to see us, my mother-in-law is always armed with a cheese and leek quiche, sausage rolls for the kids, and other home baked delights, lucky us! Yum.
This is a photo of her quiche...She'll kill me for writing that, it's not really...!

So, tomorrow, we are all off to check out the local gym, it caters for everyone, there’s loads going on, I plan to begin Pilates, Alex is going to do some kind of martial art, Monty, Judo, and football, only that’s through our town, Lola jazz dancing, Mitzi Circus training, we plan to train her up and let her tour with the circus…OK, that’s a big fat lie, but it’s apparently amazing for kids, it’s like a well fun version of the gym. I have a friend who’s daughter goes, and she says it’s fantastic. Esmie nada, as yet, she’s still ikkle. We’ve tried to pick things, with their input too, that are relevant to them. Mitzi is insanely physical. She does nothing but climb, and cartwheels and handstands. She actually has a 6 pack (of Heineken under her bed) she is not quite 5-years-old, but she is ripped!
They found a HUMUNGOUS moth...
So anyway, with out ‘labelling’ too cruelly, (signing our daughter up for the circus, may raise some eyebrows, but if you have ever met her!) we hope they will benefit from these sports…time will tell. I am sure that in their adolescence we could not have inflicted worse pain on them, but as written here is my evidence, we are but trying!

Esmie baffles me, wilful, independent, scrumptious, rolled into one cheeky, adorable, frustrating (to the point I have actually pulled my hair out, and have bald patches) yet, the most affectionate of the lot, there is nothing you can do that will prevent her from doing things at times: scribbling on walls/cutting up the bed sheets/scaling the bath to turn on the taps and flood the joint/being found OUTSIDE (we had NO idea) at 9 o’clock, this, to be fair was SUCH a serious matter, we thought she was asleep in bed. She had managed to open the door, and come down the stairs and all the rest, without us knowing. I heard a funny sound, hoped it was Weetabix my prodigal cat returning. Thank god, I went out…there she was. I actually have goose bumps typing this, there is a paddling pool (alright with a cover, but look at this child, her insane ninja capabilities, she could have had that off, cut through it with her scissors) and the gates (she cannot open or climb), but people pass-by…you see my dilemma? Each time she does something wrong, she is remorseful, blinking her big blue eyes at me, nodding her head and says ‘forry’ (we have an ‘s’ issue here, although this is obviously the least of my worries) after her lecture.  She is a not quite 3-year-old daughter of Dennis the Menace, that has found her way into our home…I no longer know what to do! You could argue she’s the 4th, I have run out of mothering tolerance and skills…but I really do do my best (I was a Brownie too, so I keep my promises and only ever tell the truth), honestly I do. So why, Esmie Rose, do you not stay the F**K in bed? (I should read her that story, I’ll post it on here for you guys to see this week, in case you have not heard of the book entitled ‘Go the f*** to sleep’, Brilliant!

Well, I have just visited my own blog, and seen a very attractive offer for a holiday ‘Cycling in Vietnam, happy or 100% money back’ So, with the new 2nd hand bike, and seat to contain and restrain the youngest-we’re off!!! I’ll argue it was complete shizer, no one was happy and get all our pennies back, sorted…

I’ll send you a post card,

See you, Tamsyn x

Sunday, 7 August 2011

Thought For The Day, week 9...




As a person, I do have rather the tendancy to be 'speed' as the French would say, but it translates! I always try to remain calm internally and externally, only it rarely works...So when I found this quote this week, I thought 'how apt'...Here it is then...


“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.”


St Francis de Sales (French Roman Catholic bishop of Geneva, active in the struggle against Calvinism, FYI).