Saturday, 17 September 2011

10 Things I learned From This Week...week 9

You will see the significance of postman Pat and his black and white cat....


As usual, my ’10 things I learned from this week' is based on my week…so here goes…ready steady GO!


1 That love at first sight DOES work-here’s to me and hubby, 10 years on…

2 That we all have free will, we need to be conscious of this, and use it wisely, and considerately of others…

3 We all have the ability to deal with everything, no matter how hard things seem at times, we CAN get through it, DIG DEEP!

4 The kids are knackered being back at school, and this is testing as a parent…

5 Kids come FIRST, we come in a close last place…

6 Did you know that ice cream is in fact Chinese food?? Nope, me neither till this week…

7 That if a child in France does not look like the rest of their siblings, it is said that ‘it’s the Post man’s’ for us Brits, it’s the milk man…

8 That the French too have the phrase ‘take my hat off to you’.

9 That French administration is a complete pile of W**K, it actually contributes to 99 percent of the stress in French people’s lives…well, I made the 99 % up, but it’s a nightmare.


10 The average bra size these days is 36 C…get those chicken fillets out girl…




Now then, that's all folks, see you tomorrow for Thought For The Day...Have a great Saturday...
Tamsyn x

Friday, 16 September 2011

Attention everyone, any crack will do...


Well a fair few questions have been posed this week, and as yet, we have not been able to magic the answers out of our bottom holes. Sorry for the vulgarity, but it is true.
Mitzi, a debutant photographer...she's got talent, no?

I am sat writing this with my dinner on my knee…I was very organised today, began doing a BIG fish pie, all to be ready to eat all together at 6 ish…but my neighbour and her daughter showed up, and it was all over, 6.30pm, she left, leaving me with no dinner prepared and kids covered in mud pie creations. Nice. So a quick picnic tea, raw veg, cheese and bread and butter. That’ll do the trick. Hence Alex and I eating on our knees, him watching, yes, you guessed it, UFC fighting, and me, trying to ignore it and write my blog, necking down carrots and a pie slightly resembling a fish one, but only half done, it’s not raw though, or burned, so we are happy, spoiled even, at the fact I have not destroyed it. The number of dinners I have burned in the name of writing my blog. Sinful, but necessary, I have a crowd (!) to please…
Exactly how I found him before flushing him down the bogalog...

In the middle of the night last night, Mitzi descends, she does this often, and it is, to be honest, becoming a little tiresome. There’s no need, at nearly 5, surely she should be sleeping better than a new born? No? Oh well, *shuts up and gets on with it*. As she walks through the kitchen, we spot a giant cockroach running for it’s life to hide in some kind of crack-attention everyone, any crack will do…I instruct her to fetch me a bunch of loo roll, he’s going down the toilet, as I do with all that I find that poses a danger to orifices, crevices, health in general (except humans, they’re all safe, for the moment…) flushed away  to oblivion, to be recycled, and come out 7 times later as drinking water. Hmmmmmm, not the nicest thought, recycled cockroach water. It was a middle of the night intimate moment with my daughter, and when your intimate moments are flushing cockroaches down the bog at midnight, there, you realise, there must be something up with this…
Bless him, unrequited love at 7-years-old...it's a hard life.

Monty on the way to football training was telling me about his 3 wishes he’d given himself. Had they worked? I asked him. ‘Well no, mum, not yet, it takes 2 days to be fulfilled, so not tomorrow, but the day after Camille (he’s been in love with for 2 years, he’s definitely faithful my son) will be back in love with him (she ‘dumped' him 6 months into the relationship…) And he is very much looking forward to the fact she will be besotted with him again. I did gently prepare him that sometimes they do not come true, wishes, like my winning the lottery and getting a donkey…he understood, but reckons she’ll fall back in love with him on Thursday. So watch this space all…Monty bless, is small, the smallest in his class, and Camille, the tallest, she towers above him, at least 3 heads bigger…but love is love, so who am I to say size matters…?
  
Now listen to this, just before I leave to collect 2 out of 4 kids for lunch: ‘Dingy dangy dong, ringing out your bells, dingy dangy dong, bom bom’ OK, seriously, the French, can you not even make the smallest of efforts? ‘Dingy Dangy f****G dong?’ As if?  And in actual fact, this song is a current fave in France, which just makes it all worse, the chorus (that which I have written above) is in English, the rest in French. Really though, REALLY…?

On that ‘the French pop is utter pants’ note, I am running out the door…

See you tomorrow,

Tamsyn x *turns UP the volume ‘dingy dangy dong ringing out your bells…’ and does a spin and everything to the chorus*

Wednesday, 14 September 2011

We were not at it for hours.


This will be my attire next time round, I was underdressed.

Sunday was Mitzi’s best friend’s birthday. Several of us mummies set off in convoy 15 minutes away our destination for the day (well, should have been, but standstill traffic due to a car boot sale) meant 45 minutes in hot car with hot SUPER HYPER excited kids, which was …fun. This park we are going to is a huge water inflatable, place with animals, pedalos, all kinds, it’s FUNTASTIC! Well, I tell you this, I rediscovered my lost horsey ride, merry go round (like the ones in Mary Poppins), riding on a very ugly pig train at 1 and a half miles an hour, youth. OK, the metal horses are scary as f***, but SO fun! The park is completely enclosed, and with many mummies, everyone kept an eye on each others’ kids, so at one point my friend and I escaped and went off on a horsey ride! It was mechanical and it went round this track, it was honestly TOO much fun. Galloping away on an electronic horse is HOURS of fun (note to self, buy one, and an aeroplane, and a donkey, the list is mounting), we got 5 rides before the queue of small children crying and pleading with us to let THEM have a go. Oh alright, go on then, we reluctantly demount elegantly (well, more of a tumble, straining 33-year-old hips that have carried too many children over the years, ‘has she been drinking at lunch? shameful’ Whispers in the background, demount). But we gave it up. The merry-go-round was next, with several of our lot in tow, and we woop along, going at a pace a disoriented snail would be proud of, although this is no bad thing, given my history of merry-go-round to the brink of vomiting experiences.

This was the demonstration I and my friend gave the kids...

The kids whizz about, it’s exhausting keeping track of them. At one point, my friend and I spot a bunch of our kids on the trampoline, we decide to join them, as I have said before, if you can’t beat them with tree branches (and we were in public so...) then you join them. And joined they were. For all of 3 jumps, then my friend and I both look at each other and realise why kids are at it for hours, and after having had those kids, trampolining and those pelvic floor exercises that you never did, 3 bounces is WAY enough. We were not at it for hours. So we boing off, although we are doing our best to walk, and sprint to the loos…

Anyway, enough about pelvic floor exercises Monday was school again. I was exhausted when the 6.30 am alarm went off. I kept hitting snooze, THE biggest mistake, you get so caught up in the ‘no, it can’t be, not yet, *snooooooze*’ and then each snooze is never long enough and you end up getting up feeling cheated before you have even begun the day. So a mental fly round, teeth brushed in car en route, school run this morning was less than fun. But on a positive note, Esmie was happy and smiling at her teacher, YEY! She loves me picking her up at 11.30,  and it’s now all smiles, as it’s not long till she sees mummy again. Hoorah. Hippy happy days.

After the way too much fun that was had on Sunday afternoon, Mitzi wakes up 2 or 3 times crying ‘I want to get off, STOP!’ she’s reliving the merry-go-round, bless her. Traumatic scarring stuff… Be warned!

Till tomorrow,

Tamsyn x *ebays 'scary ass but FUN to ride metal horses'*

Monday, 12 September 2011

A thrusting chest...


I have just left Monty under his den practicing his dialogue for the ‘Youtube Monty’s Star Wars Lego Battles’ videos. It’s gonna be quite something, in 4 parts (all marked clearly under his den) so watch this space, he will be debuting on here!  

I learned from him also today that he is working ‘really fast’ at school. To which both Alex and I puff our chests out (Alex’s being alarmingly more ‘thrustsome’ than my own breast dredged kids looking one)…We tell him how glad we are to hear that, and he should be proud of himself. But there’s always a finish to a begun sentence, and the finish to his full sentence went as follows: ‘…that I am getting loads of errors.’ Ah, right, whole different ball game, puffed-out chests *royally popped*. So we say diplomatically, that he’s not to worry, OK, fair enough, work slower and concentrate, thus, more efficiently, but he’s English in a French school, and it’s the first week back, so it’s going to take him a bit to get back into. Always, I cry, hear out the WHOLE sentence, before passing judgement. A lesson learned, a thrusting chest, er, churned… ?

Well Esmie is happy, it seems, with going to school just mornings, so whilst I AM still here to pick her up, I am glad we have reached a nearly happy medium. And when I DO finally start work, I now have a French qualification I am aiming to get, then be able to teach English to kids in Private Schools, she will have to go when she has to go! Until then, they all eat 3 times a week at the cantine, the girls get picked up Friday lunchtime (Monty stays the whole 4 days now, picking 4 kids up from 4 different schools, giving them lunch, clearing up, getting them back to 4 different schools is beyond Shera and the Power of Greyskull’s skills, and my those powers are never there when you need them. So there we go, life moves on, and until we learn to parachute from ‘Mummy flying the Aeroplane’, hovering over each school in turn, and 'Aller, Monty, JUMP! And don't forget to pull the cord' . Hence Friday is the only day now 3 out of 4 kids are picked up.
Me Friday night, taken just before the Parents' evening....

Friday night I am up for a school meeting, mascared up, Alex on kids duty, handbag at the ready, I wait enthusiastically recognising 2 tops hanging on pegs, my son’s already lost property, I continue waiting. Half an hour I wait, wondering if I am in the right place, I spot a teacher and ask them. ‘Oh no, it’s not tonight, it’s next Friday’ Oh brilliant, I am already, after not even one whole week back at school, looking like a complete wally, with no place to go. Goodo, no change there then. I can see the common room discussions now ‘That Monty’s not doing too well is he?’ ‘No, well, have you met the mother? No? well, then you’d see…’

On that note, I am off, after Mitzi coming up to me a bit sad, pouting lips this evening before bed declares she is sad because she ‘would love to grow birds’. Now, if anyone else could shed any light? Answers on a postcard to:

Stupid mothers, at
Burnedoutcar Palace,
Self-employed walking disaster,
Completely not worth visiting street,
Blue donkeys,
France.

That should get straight here, thanks…

See you tomorrow!

Tamsyn x

Sunday, 11 September 2011

Thought For The Day. Week 15...


Another Sunday, another week done. My dreams were filled with friends from school last night, vivid dreams, partly in Spanish too, and when I speak not even a word of Spanish, you can imagine how bizzare the whole affair got. 

It's funny how time can change people. I miss very much my good friends back in England, and so quite simply my Thought for the Day this week is based on the theme of friendship...



"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
- Walter Winchell


And those friends are very few and very far between...


Now it's off to prepare a picnic, we are off to a huge inflatable park this afternoon for my Mitzi-moo's best mate's Birthday!

See you tomorrow...


Tamsyn x